Not Your Regular Addiction 💋
sometimes in life you have to what you've never done; to get what you've never had.

if you both have the same ultimate goal to go about it to see where it goes,
what difference
does it matter how it goes,
sometimes we get so stuck in
having it black & white
you don’t notice the grey area
the common ground .
nothing is promised not
even tomorrow
and you like that day by day
as to this you shall too.



every time.


never cared for another
human being
never loved a person
that wasn’t out of the norm
blood or family like related.
how are you suppose to feel
is this feeling for real ?
if I pray hard
will it disappear tomorrow
and I’ll say I’ll survived the 1st
and let the 1st never turn into many.

how do you suppose to
feel if the person
you want the most
doesn’t want you in that way,
do you desert
or do you stick around
until they see it in you?

will they ever see it in you ?
these are question one asks themselves,
if you can picture this
why not strive for this
from this,
let this be your expectation
chase this like you chase your dreams
protect this like you protect
your heart
cherish this like a memory
that you want to last forever.

I feel beggy, needy,
these that I am not
these I have never shown,
things that I’ve never known.
why did it have to be you,
why do I fight in a ring alone,
why can I see the over all
even if it’s just sketched
just like an art
some pieces are erased,
some things added
there’s color to be enlisted
and a frame to hold it up.

I guess a friendship
Is the frame the foundation
So why not hang as friends
who like each other enough
to admit it
to acknowledge it
to embrace it without embracing
each other.

after some time
you start to wonder
if you haven’t seen this thing
your looking for in me
& the amount of time
you’ve known me
will you ever ?

time heals all things
time also showcases all things
and time isn’t always given
you can have your time
or you can have your time up .
I may not be in love,
but I love the thought of you
the smell of and
the touch that is you.
so I’ll take the time
to be your “friend”
because only god knows what
time will tell .

Florida Thoughts

How can you tell someone you’ve known and experienced
so many emotions and memories
that you care for them
in the purest form;
that you love them
for their past, for their present
and their future….. ?
can I utter these words and
accept the fact that yet the words may never leave your lips
and I be fine with this.
will you not be stroked with fear
of not living up to expectations
of what you feel love is
what you feel I want from love,
what you feel you can handle.
will you runaway,
can I handle not being as happy as I know I can be.
*sigh* my friend the one that
can enlighten my darkest days
when I feel like I don’t matter
and want to runaway
and not even be aware of it.
the first time in a long time
I feel worthy of myself
that I can be myself and take myself as myself.
my friend who I love,
inside & out.
my friend I’m afraid to lose.
my friend that has my attention;
and if this friendship never forms
into nothing more
I will continue to love you,
even if you say back
to someone else…..
I’m lying I’ll love you,
but hate him lmao

"I would die for you. But I won’t live for you."

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